I do understand people. Perhaps it is society that I really do not get. When did everyone become so sad about the things that are going on around them? Is happiness something everyone is suddenly ashamed of? All I know is this feeling better stop soon.
I hate having you control my mind still. I also hate missing you. Every night before I go to sleep I hope that I will wake up and all the memories will be gone for good. In the morning my mind is never surprised that they are still floating and bugging the shit out of me. You can move and be happy then why can’t I?
I do not see many friends anymore and I do not mean that in a “I am too busy to hangout” sort of thing. There are only empty shells around me and I hate it. I remember friendships lasted years and then everyone gets to high school and tests the water about everything. Then one day they look around and see they pushed all their friends away. Middle school was the time figure how to be a bitch in a not so bitchy way. It is where people hated you then a summer would pass and everyone would forgive/forget. It was okay then but not now.
I look around and I hate what my eyes see. Everyone is focused on their looks and how many people say “hey you look cute today”. Society is going against everything my mother has taught me about life. Ever since I was young I have always been preached that love makes life great. It makes me wonder why I look around and see zero love. Where did everything go wrong? I understand that I love ________ is often stated on social networks but that isnt love, that is infatuation. It is more so the want that makes people post stuff like that, or atleast that is what I think. You cannot love someone because they wear nice clothes. It has to be more than that. You have to break down that person and see how they work even if they are not sure on how they do so. My brain says stuff like this a little too often and in all honesty it makes me think that no one will ever love me. Being connected to my emotions scare people. I aspire to knit a beanie and dance in a book store because that is the best place there is, a book store with someone you love. Letting them have you understand that opinion is another great thing. Looks like I have a lot of dreams to fill.
Your face runs through my mind many times through out the day.
I think of you a little too often.
You stray yourself.
I fall harder.
With all of this I runaway knowing that you do not like me.
Maybe we should jump and see who lets go first.
We both know it will be you.
Just do not take my heart.
I have a heart that likes to be loved.
I have a mind that is hard to understand.
Everything has been broken once or twice before.
For you to really know me we need to travel in the past.
Do not worry it will not last too long.
Just shake your head and nod.
My hands shake because I have been broken one too many times.
My heart is older than my body.
Help me come back.
For this is all written because I want someone to understand.
